EXISTENCE

We all are a small part of this huge world. With the current situation and our mental health I would like to say we are existing, not even breathing or living, we are just existing. I don't even remember how I used to think back when I was a kid. But slowly when I think about it, I was always this kid who is looking for some thing, something that would make me realise who I am , who I am meant to be. But in today this has become a necessity in our life. we want to get our self figured out, we want to do nothing and everything, we want to excel in each and every way, which isn't possible. certainly we aren't god. 

Have you ever doubted your existence?

Some decisions, some moments, some people, and some part of ourselves made us doubt our very own existence. I have my own doubts in my life, for instance how I end up hurting people, and how I end up getting only corpses beside me. how every step, every measure I took, I was never enough. Somewhere down the line, the most common hamartia we all have in our life is that we are never enough. This statement always hurts. Be it a rejection from a person who we like, or a friend, worse from our parents. This brutally hurts, but deep down its the truth. perfection is a myth.

Multiple thoughts arise in my mind when someone questions me, 
some of them goes like,
am I mean?
am I that stupid?
am I selfish?, and slowly my insecurities eat me up like an hungry dragon. can this be more complicated?

The answer to that would be, YES.

When we see life, we think about either a grand one with lavish living and a luxurious life, or a simple one with  small common needs and ambitions. 

The real deal is when we actually live , we have so many ups and downs that we tend to forget the goal and start living in the issues and problems. we have to come out of them rather than settling in them, and living with them. once we understand life and problems are two different aspects, we can change the world.

Although at the end,
we are just living, 
by surviving, and merely existing.